Rotationships

I've just come to the sudden realization that rotations are a lot like relationships. You start out unsure, uncomfortable and really unaware of what you have just gotten yourself into. Slowly you learn to court the beast and predict its next moves.  You may ocassionally stumble and get upset in your relationship due to miscommunication.  Ultimately you end up getting out of it what you put into it. But then you suddenly break up, except in a strange way. When you pass the preceptor in the hall-way you have awkward hellos, bring up old jokes and laugh about the past. Then in the end, it all builds up to that ultimate relationship, your job after residency.

Hence: rotationships. Ta-da!

Georgia Victory

The Southeastearn Residency Conference (SERC) is over and I can finally kiss my research project goodbye for a little bit.  This is a huge weight off of my shoulders, I might actually be able to sleep through the night now.  Auf Wiedersehen, Athens, GA!

I just hate that when it rained in my life, it poured. Everything fell apart at once.  I kept my composure (for the most part), kept my mouth shut when I didn't want to and carried on.

I've been lied to and disrespected, but I am unbroken.

Topics, topics & more topics

I am at the point where I can't keep up with my topic discussions.  Drug Rash with Eosinophilia and Systemic Symptoms (DRESS) syndrome with Tegretol, cerebral edema treatments (mannitol, hypertonic saline and glucocorticoids), subarachnoid hemorrhages, venous sinus thrombosis....all THIS week.  It is Wednesday.  WEDNESDAY.  I staff Thursday, which means I will be at work 13 hours (07:00-20:00) and then preparing for at least 3 topic discussions. 

Xarelto

I understand that everyone makes mistakes.  You learn from your mistakes more than anything. But what I am tired of is driving to work every day and feeling defeated before I even set foot inside the hospital.  Wondering why I even spent 7 years of my life becoming a pharmacist.  I'm sick of it.  This rotation is starting to put me over the edge.  No one there has any business knowing what my personal life is like and I have no intention of telling them that lately it has been shitty.  Not to mention all the stress I am under to finish my residency project.

I just want to scream. I want to run 18 million miles and I want to sleep for days...but I don't have time to do that.  I don't even have time to take care of myself.  I'm sorry I made a fucking mistake.

:(

Every day I round with this guy I feel defeated before I even make it into the parking lot.

An Introduction of Sorts

I've been intermittently blogging for the last 10 years, so an introduction and purpose are hard to muster.  In short, I'm a 20-something Pharmacist in an acute care residency program (post-graduate year 1 = PGY1) at a very large community hospital.  I've chosen a special kind of hell for myself, just so I can have a better future (and I'm looking forward to the after-residency part).  My co-residents have grown to become some amazing friends.  Otherwise, I enjoy good food and beer, music, bacon and sleeping.  My two biggest life goals are 1) to be happy and 2) escape to Norway.

My Jeep is my constant rock right now.  I invite you to gaze upon her beauty.

Yes, that is me in the last photo.  I'm no short lady either (5'11).  My beautiful girl is on a 6" Rough Country long-arm kit with a Ford 8.8 in the rear, on 35" KM2s.  She is re-geared to 4.88 (in hopes of going with bigger tires after destroying that dinky Dana 30 in the front) and 5-speed manual inline 6 (the best stock engine, in my opinion).  My '99 TJ has gotten me out of some physical and emotional holes in the last 5 years of owning her.  I've gained a lot of life experiences and good friends with her.  (Yes, I do have a problem, its called my Jeep).  There will more than likely be many posts about her, the Jeep club, trips and just general rambling.  

Get ready for a rough ride, because the road I'm on has bumps and challenges ahead.